I know, I know...it's been done to death. But that doesn't make it any less necessary. Or appropriate. Or helpful.
My grandmother died rather unexpectedly last month. I say rather unexpectedly because she was, after all, 85 years old. Still, the day it happened, there was no reason to believe that things wouldn't just continue on the way they had been. So when she died of a stroke on 15 April, I think it caused many of us to stop and ponder afresh our mortality, and whether the decisions we were making day to day were good ones, pleasing to God, and the right examples for our families.
Or maybe it was just me.
When MaMa died, it meant a trip home to WV. There were stressful situations wrapped up in a last minute, 800-mile journey. There were unexpected things that happened, both terribly hurtful, and wonderfully healing. Out of this trip home though, first and foremost, came my deep desire to, oh, I don't know how else to express it - to focus, really re-focus, like a laser, on what I believe, what I live for. And that's Jesus. To glorify Him. To determine my purpose. Not to be distracted by the worries of this world. God is on the move...another catalyst for this all coming together was a close friend who, after years of fighting, finally found peace with God, and whoosh! - his life changed overnite, dramatically and for the better.
While I was pregnant with my second child last year, I felt a strong urge to read The Purpose Driven Life. I have started this book more times than I care to admit, but I've never completed it. I resisted at first because it seemed so trendy (stupid reasoning...rejecting something just because it's popular.) But again, I picked it up, made the pledge, and never followed through.
So - here's the deal. I really want to live productively. I've struggled lately to feel personal value because I've "just been staying home with the kids." This is ludicrous and ridiculous...this is some of the most important work that any human can do - to invest time and energy into his or her children. It is the world's lie to undervalue staying home with children. Nevertheless, that's how I've felt. But I've looked around...and I have to be honest: I am squandering time online that should be spent in prayer, or serving my family, or writing, or at least a dozen other things. SO - for the next 40 days - give or take a day or two - I'm unplugging from what has become my biggest timesucker - Facebook. I'm reading The Purpose Driven Life and I'm blogging on it. I hope that my ramblings are helpful - to you, to me. I pray that, at the end of this time, I'll have a better sense of purpose, of focus, of peace.
We'll see, eh?